Kurt the Meager

Ex-Cultist Mercenary


Human Fighter, Sword and Crossbow Specialist


Kurt was raised in a village near Greenest. His father was eaten, probably by an ettin, when Kurt was very young. His mother disappeared a couple years later and is presumed eaten.

Like lots of young guys with few skills and absolutely no idea of what to do with himself, Kurt decided to hire himself out as a guard or low-grade minder of other people’s goods and affairs.

Kurt’s first job began when a sharply dressed merchant contracted him to serve as a guard for goods. Kurt felt lucky to find work, but his mood soured when the sharply dressed merchant turned out to be a contractor hiring flunkies for a self-styled “bandit prince.” The prince’s plans crashed when the Greenest guard busted up the bandit organization soon after it began, and Kurt surrendered to authorities. Kurt and his two surviving fellow contractees were sentenced by Greenest’s constable to branding as criminals and a month in the Greenest jail. The first part of the sentence was carried out with all dispatch. Kurt tried to explain that being branded a criminal at age 19 might doom all of them to lives as bandits as no reputable merchant would ever hire branded criminals, but his plea was not presented with much polish and failed to persuade the constable. Kurt, an inexplicably good looking lad for being a no account son of poverty, now has a face marred with a large “C” burned on his right cheek, the local signifier for “criminal.”

While resting out his month in jail, a small army sacked Greenest, all but the central keep. The invaders, a band calling themselves “The Cult of the Dragon”, freed the criminals from Greenest’s jail, offering them work as soldiers in the glorious army of something called “Tiamat.” Kurt signed on with a shrug figuring that a glorious army beat miserable banditry. He was quickly assigned cheap, black armor with an indistinct dragon on it along with a short sword and hand crossbow.

He soon regretted his decision. The Cult of the Dragon proved to be an odd mixture of delusional fanatics, sneering foreigners, semi-competent-at-best agents, and imperious bullies harried by superiors into hasty decisions and perpetually disappointed by their inferiors. Infighting and defeatist gossip thrived as the apparent leaders tended to hold one another in thinly veiled contempt. Yet, they did manage to loot a region, and Kurt escorted the goods for roughly a month on its journey north up The Sword Coast. Apart from some harassment by suspicious locals, the journey was comprised mostly of boredom and half-muttered orders. Pay was never much discussed after the first guard who dared inquire was flayed by a mysterious woman who called herself a wormspeaker. There’s nothing like seeing a comrade flayed to establish terrified compliance. Kurt limited his vocabulary to “yes, m’am” and “yes, sir.”

The goods were delivered to Castle Nerita, a swamp-mired refuge inhabited by Bullywugs and Lizardfolk. Soon after arriving to guard the goods, Kurt found the entire castle beset by a small band of intrepid personages who Kurt assumes are now regarded as heroes having heard that later they crashed a floating castle and unraveled the entire plans of the Cult of the Dragon. In the fight, Kurt was knocked out early and woke the next day to find these heroes in charge of the whole castle.

Kurt fled north on foot through the swamp. After spending several weeks lost and alone, he eventually found himself luckily in the company of some Cult of the Dragon troops. From them he learned of the destruction of Skyreach and the destruction of the Cult’s plans. Unclear on whether or not they remained cultists or were now deserters, the group lacked focus absent leaders. Kurt skulked off that night figuring that it was unsafe to be part of this cult in the aftermath of its utter failure.

Wandering alone in the north wearing the equipment of a failed, evil cult, Kurt figured he needed to lose himself with more reputable companions. That’s when he met Stitch on his wanders. Stitch didn’t seem to hate him on sight, so Kurt figured he’d be a good companion. Their subsequent meeting with five terrifying personages of obviously infernal origins suited Kurt well. Far from the most noticeable person in the company, he’s now got cover and a chance to correct the course of his meager life. He hopes one of these infernal personages or the kindly Stitch will declare himself or herself leader.

In their first encounter with a surprise attack by a bullette, Kurt managed accidentally to stab one of his new companions, a woman with magical powers and perpetually flaming hair no less. They didn’t punish him for his incompetence or even lecture him sternly on not stabbing robed allies, so he’s feeling like things are looking up. Then when they gave him a seventh of their loot from a dimly planned raid to save a pig (long story), Kurt said to himself, “ah, now this is an organization worth serving.”

Kurt the Meager

Genaside ElectricCaveman